Electronic Hair Conditioner

Normally, when people cause social drama over social networking sites such as Facebook, we refer to them as children and progressively bitch about their immaturity and disgusting behaviour. The thing is, I remember what elementary school was like. And when I was in elementary school, at least we had the balls to confront people and say, “FUCK YOU. I DON’T LIKE YOU NO MORE.”

So why in the name of holy cocks is it so difficult to do when you’re 23 years old?

I can’t even label this as immaturity, considering most of the confrontational issues I dealt with in my life happened before I was twelve years old, but I digress. When a grown man is ending a relationship with someone he’s been seeing for six months over fucking Facebook. I’m sorry, you’re a man? I’m pretty sure my clitoris is bigger than your cock, thank you very much. Perhaps if you didn’t have your head shoved so far up your own ass, you’d find the time to wipe the Whataburger-poisoned shit from your eyes and see what a complete and utter sand-filled cunt you’re being.

And I haven’t even mentioned the best part. It wasn’t through a message on Facebook or a status or anything like that. There was no confrontation at all. He deleted her. Hm, I don’t want to be in a “relationship” with this person anymore. I know, I’ll just delete them from Facebook and pretend they never existed.

Perhaps I expect to much from people, being a confrontational person myself. I don’t beat around the bush, I don’t let you “guess” how I feel about you. I let a bitch know. Perhaps I’m wrong to expect it from other people, even adults? Idk. I mean, I’ll respect someone when I have to because that’s the mature thing to do. No point in acting like a cunt to every single person I don’t like; that’s just a waste of my time. The thing is, even if he can’t actually confront her to say, “I don’t want to be with you anymore,” he can still act like a stale cockbiscuit to her when he sees her at work. Excuse me, the work place is not the place for your drama. Gtfo plz.

Oh well. Good riddance, I say. :] We don’t need people who don’t have the balls to confront people. Honestly, he should have told me he didn’t have any balls, I would have let him borrow mine. Meh. But I guess deleting people from Facebook is the 21st century cure now. OIC.

See ya later, masturbater~

Mea just took it. We’re playing Ocarina of Time. I’ve never played it. She knows seriously everything about it. It’s slightly frightening. I’ve never even played on a Gamecube before.

But anyway, the graphics are horrifying on my flat screen TV. You can REALLY SEE how horrible everything is. I love it.

Short unamusing post is short and unamusing. Suck it.

So, back in 1995, Disney did a nice spin on American history’s heroic 10-year-old (though portrayed by full grown woman in the animation), Pocahontas. Fun Fact: Pocahontas actually means “whore,” hence the title. In Pocahontas’s tribes beliefs, people actually had multiple names, including secret names only shared among close family (spouse and children). Literally, the name means “little wanton,” but guess what wanton means? Yeah. WHORE. They called her this and had her address herself as this to the settlers to protect her… or something.

“MY NAME IS WHORE.”

“JESUS FUCK YOU’RE TEN YEARS OLD. o__o I’M SCARED PLZ.”

Anyway, the films begins in England, and a bunch of English dudes are all, “Yay, we’re sailing across the ocean with nothing but buckets of beer and a fat pimp and his dog.” Notice this: Everyone there has an English accent except John Smith. Why is John Smith so special? Obviously, he invented the American accent, the true hipster that he is.

Ah, the days of Mel Gibson before he was a crazy bastard…

We all know John Smith brought homosexuality to America as well, what with his obvious gay relationship with Thomas. Morgana and I have decided this, of course. Thomas is painfully the sub, and Radcliffe telling him to learn how to use his gun is nothing but a euphemism for, “Use your penis, not your ass.” And later in the film, Thomas mans up (after John leaves him for some copper-skinned slut) and makes Radcliffe his bitch, chains and whips and all. Of course, for those of you who have knowledge in prostitution, this instantly made Thomas a HUGE DEAL, considering Radcliffe was actually a pimp. He didn’t have many hos, but come on. His bling was ~gangsta~, he had a ferocious dog, he was looking for gold to put in his ~grill~, and his carriage had some pimpin’ rims did you see that shit holy fuck. And then Thomas was like, “Suck my cock,” and that was the end of that.

Basically, everyone lives happily ever after, except Cocoa Puffs who got shot by Thomas for GOING IN A RAGE and trying to scalp John Smith. You can’t scalp a hipster, man. Hipsters knew about that shit before it was popular. Not that knowing all about guns before THEY were popular helped poor Johnny take a bullet, but whatever.

…Well, I like to think John and Poca live happily ever after. Fuck the sequel. Fuck actual history. John Smith comes back to America to establish his American accent, and he and Pocahontas live happily ever after. Right? ;A;

Sigh.

Goodbye, Mel Gibson. The first true American.

Mea here, reporting for hymen-popping of the blog. I suppose The Big Question at the moment is “What the actual fuck is Electronic Hair Conditioner?” Well, Electronic Hair Conditioner is like sex. It’s different for everyone, and each person has their own definition and fetishes, but in the end, it’s good for everyone. Of course, you still have your basic stuff. So what can you expect from Electronic Hair Conditioner? Typical bullshit revolving around the lives of two young adults struggling to survive in [insert heartfelt speech here]. It will mostly involve taking the piss out of random things we find amusing, enthusing about dead things and nice make-up, and film commentaries AKA watch the fucking films we recommend because we know our shit. We’ll probably talk about video games sometimes too, and I know I may touch on art and writing sometimes. So now comes the answer to The BigGER Question. “Why the fuck would I want to follow you?” Because we’re awesome, that’s why, so suck on that. We’re gonna update this thing with some cool shit. If we were just gonna sit around and talk about our lives (or lack of them) all day, we’d not bother to make this damn thing. As much as I love to talk about myself, I’m well aware that 99% of the world does not give a shit.

So we’re going to talk about the media. We’re going to talk about the world. We’re going to talk about music and inspirational quotes and beauty and the warm fuzzy feelings you get when you build a blanket fort in your living room. We’re going to talk about cooking and late night walks on the beach when the moonlight hits the waves just right. We’re going to talk about people who make a difference. We’re going to talk about the finer things in life.

And that’s that. :) In the meantime, have Demyx riding a llama.